muneraven (muneraven) wrote,

Isn't it funny when bad news is good news and good news is bad?

So after many doctor appointments and enough blood drawing to feed everyone in those "Twilight" movies, it seems I have Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.  This is good news because it is good to know what is wrong with me.  It's bad because there is no cure, you just live with it.  It's good news because I can stop telling myself I am crazy/lazy/lame/stupid/a hypochondriac.  It's bad because it isn't going to go away with some self improvement plan like it might have if I was crazy/lazy/lame/stupid/a hypochondriac.  Despite the sort of mixed bag of good and bad, though, for me it is ultimately good because knowledge is a good thing.

I am supposed to reduce stress.  As much as I love our son, his moving out at the end of September will help with that.  No matter what one does, living with a person who is both autistic and bipolar is NOT good for stress levels.   It's time to let other people try to help him navigate his life and for me to take a role I am looking forward to very, very much:  The Mom who no longer has to scold, coach, clean up after and get mad at him.  I want to be the "Here grown-up son I bought you a sweater, do you want a cheeseburger?" Mom now.    I would like to stop being his executive functioning.  I would like to just be his friend.  Please and thank you.

I think starting to write again --without expectations -- will help with stress  as well.   

I am on a million vitamins.  My favorite is the subliminal B12.  Or is that bilingual B12 . . .  Anyway it tastes like strawberries and chalk.

SO that is my health update, and since I have done like three posts in a row on my health, next time I will write about something else.  I promise.

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